tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18522439096799757602024-02-20T09:47:16.634-08:00MOPS at The BridgeThe Bridge MOPS is a group of moms in California's central San Joaquin Valley seeking to foster authentic friendships, grow meaningful mentorships and live out our faith in community.MOPS at the Bridgehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16380079073580113306noreply@blogger.comBlogger134125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1852243909679975760.post-58627289190878128482016-05-12T10:16:00.000-07:002016-05-12T10:30:12.194-07:00Making space to Flourish<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 18.9pt;">I gathered a group of seven friends at
my table for lunch. We are all women leaders who serve at churches and
ministries across the city. These women challenge me, pray over me, and inspire
me. I arranged a small bouquet of barely-opening daffodils at each of their
plates. I encouraged them to take these home and put them in water as a
reminder to “Bloom where you are planted.”</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">A few days later, I started getting
text messages from my friends – pictures of their bright yellow flowers
blooming. One friend had put hers in a mason jar. Another added hers to a vase
tied with raffia. Another had used her daffodils to dress up her table’s
centerpiece and added greenery.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">The final photo I received was of a bud
vase stuffed full with daffodils. The flowers were limp, shriveled at the ends,
floundering. My friend sent the following text with her photo:<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">“Life lesson: Don’t stifle your growth
by putting yourself or your dreams in a too-small vase.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">The visual was profound for me – for
all of us. I was sitting in a season where I heard God whispering that I needed
to step back. I needed to create margin for myself. I needed to devote more
time to my three daughters. I just got married in January and found myself in a
new marriage and a new family context after the death of my first husband. I
also saw that God was beginning to use my story of tragedy and triumph to
encourage others.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">My husband had gently and wisely told
me: “If you don’t say no to some commitments now, you will not have space in
the future to step into the big things I believe God is calling you to.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I hemmed. I hawed. I squirmed at his
words. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I knew he was right. His voice
resonated with what God was already telling me. If I really wanted to flourish
in my calling, I needed to prune back some of the commitments I had - even the
things I most loved.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I took my own bundle of daffodils and
put them in the biggest, widest glass vase I could find – a wedding gift from a
Mentor Friend at MOPS. That vase full of water and space and vibrant, yellow
flowers was a daily reminder to me about what I need to truly flourish: space
to hear God, space to grow, space to add new and different flowers when the
time arises.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">This year I’ve been truly challenged by
our MOPS theme: A Fierce Flourishing. </span><span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 18.9pt;">From the start, I was struck by the
paradox a “fierce flourishing” proposes we embrace. The word “fierce” is a
trending word that has come to mean “exceptional quality, amazing, beautiful,
sassy, strong and bold” in our American culture. The word “flourish” is a verb
that means “to thrive; to be in one’s prime; to be at the height of fame,
excellence, influence; to grow luxuriantly like a plant.” These definitions
speak to me about not just surviving, but actually embracing, enjoying,
thriving in this calling God has for each us. That’s unique for each mama, each
woman.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">This year I have learned that I need to
make boundaries for myself. I am a high-capacity, “yes” person. I love to
multi-task. I love to be involved in a lot of different areas, and I feel loyal
to a lot of groups of people. I have learned that I sometimes I need to be a
“no” person for the sake of my family. I don’t need to fill every square on the
calendar. I need emotional space to breathe and write and take care of my soul. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">In his book <i>Strong and Weak</i>, Andy Crouch writes about flourishing:<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">“The paradox of flourishing is that
true flourishing requires two things that at first do not seem to go together
at all. But in fact, if you do not have both, you do not have flourishing, and
you do not create it for others. Here’s the paradox: flourishing comes from
being both strong and weak.” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">God has shown me as the Coordinator of
MOPS that I must embrace both my strengths and weaknesses. And the more I am
willing to live this paradox out loud, the more other women feel freedom to
step into their respective callings. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">“Flourishing requires us to embrace
both authority and vulnerability, both capacity and frailty – even at last in
this broken world, both life and death,” writes Crouch.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">In my time at MOPS, I have had the
chance to embrace all of these things. I have participated in MOPS and led for
almost 10 years now. That feels like a big chunk of my life. There’s a certain
sadness in walking away from something that feels so integral to my
development, but I also see that my obedience to say “no” to another year of
leading gives another woman the opportunity to say “yes” and step up into her
calling. And this is what pruning is all about.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I’m so excited to watch this group grow
and <b>flourish</b> in the months and years
to come. I am clinging to the encouraging and apropos words of our theme verse in Isaiah
55:</span>12:<br />
<b><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></b>
<b><span style="font-size: large;">“You will go out in joy and be led forth in peace; the mountains
and hills will burst into song before you, and all the trees of the field will
clap their hands.”</span></b><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p></o:p></span><br />
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<span style="color: #5d5853; font-family: "pt serif" , "georgia" , "times new roman" , "times" , serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 25.2px;">Dorina Gilmore-Young is a mama to three active girls and recently married to her long-time friend, Shawn Young. She has written three books for children, a volume of poetry and blogs at www.DorinaGilmore.com. She is the author of a new 10-week bible study experience called Glory Chasers.</span></div>
MOPS at the Bridgehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16380079073580113306noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1852243909679975760.post-7111895319938315002016-04-14T10:12:00.001-07:002016-04-25T12:25:38.968-07:00How Living in Community Helps All of Us Flourish<div class="MsoNormal">
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<span style="background-color: #fefdfa; color: #333333; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 107%;">Every
Wednesday is “Go Mama Workout Day” at my house. It’s my favorite day of the
week. It’s the day I don’t shower. I hang out in my workout clothes and wear a
messy braid all day. I invite women and their kids from my community to join me.</span></div>
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<span style="background: #fefdfa; color: #333333; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">I
started this almost seven years ago now. My husband, who was a personal
trainer, was invited to speak at our MOPS group. He talked to the mamas about
nutrition and fitness and led them in a workout. After his talk, I found myself
in several conversations with mamas who were longing for accountability. They
wanted to work out but lacked the confidence to walk into a gym or just needed
a safe space to make fitness fun.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="background: #fefdfa; color: #333333; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">The
Go Mama Workout was born.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="background: #fefdfa; color: #333333; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">Through
the years, we have averaged 7-10 mamas every week with as many 20 kids running
wild in the yard or sitting in Bumbo chairs watching their mamas sweat it out.
What started as a handful of moms from my MOPS group working out has grown into
a rich community of friends.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #fefdfa; color: #333333; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 107%;">Now
we start out each week in my living room for a time of sharing and prayer. This
part is almost more important to me than the workout itself. We laugh. We cry.
We share prayer requests. We change blowout diapers. We eat. We speak fitness
and life goals out loud. We are inevitably interrupted a dozen times by kids
needing snacks or fighting or wanting to breastfeed. It’s beautiful; it’s
messy.</span><br />
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<span style="background: #fefdfa; color: #333333; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">I
love that I get to see the younger girls romping around the backyard wearing
those sun dresses and sparkly shoes that my girls used to wear. I love when my
friend Esther shows up with goodies from her garden or Janelle brings extras
from her pantry.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="background: #fefdfa; color: #333333; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">Our
Swap & Shop event for our moms group was also born out of my love for living in community.
I wanted to create an event where we could share resources within our MOPS
group. We purge our closets for the purpose of paring down and decluttering our
own lives, but also to bless another mom with something new.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
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<span style="background: #fefdfa; color: #333333; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">On Swap & Shop night, we all bring our used clothes, shoes, jewelry and kids' clothes and swap. It's so much fun to see moms going home with new treasures - and without having to spend a bunch of moolah!</span></div>
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<span style="background: #fefdfa; color: #333333; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">I
have been that mom who didn’t have money for new clothes. I have been that mom
with only rice and beans in the pantry. I have been that mom with sick kids and
no health insurance. I have been that mom grieving the death of my beloved
husband. And all those times this MOPS community has come through for me. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="background: #fefdfa; color: #333333; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">We
share resources; we share knowledge; and we share inspiration. My MOPS friends
have inspired me to try Zumba, to stick with breastfeeding, to take care of
myself. One mom put her culinary skills to use to bake my wedding cake a few
months ago. Another mama friend spoke about embracing our children’s
personality types and gave me skills to parent my littles better. A
mentor-friend a few years ago inspired me to keep on keeping on with her story
of being a working mom while still loving on her three kids.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
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<span style="background: #fefdfa; color: #333333; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">I believe God designed each one of us for community. He himself embodies community. He is Father, Son, and Holy Spirit - three in one - our model of community working seamlessly. He has designed us to live in relationship, to work out our insecurities and use our gifts in the context of authentic community. Living in community is messy and hard, but it is also rich with opportunity to taste His glory.</span></div>
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<span style="background: #fefdfa; color: #333333; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">I
realized that living in community this way has grown me, challenged me, encouraged
me and pushed me. These women have watered and cultivated the soil of my life and
caused me to flourish through the years.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
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<span style="background: #fefdfa; color: #333333; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">My
challenge to you today is to be intentional about cultivating your own
community. Gather some women. Open your home. Invite someone to the park or
strike up a conversation with someone who has kids your age. Brainstorm ways
you can share your resources and encourage someone else in your circle.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="background: #fefdfa; color: #333333; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">I
am a better mama, wife, woman, friend, mentor, speaker, creative writer,
business woman because of the women in my life. In a world where comparison and
cattiness so often drives a wedge between female relationships, I am grateful for
this diverse community of women that walk the journey of life with me. We are
flourishing together.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<i><span style="background: #fefdfa; color: #333333; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">Dorina
Gilmore-Young is mama to 3 girls and thrilled to be a wife to her new hubby,
Shawn. She is a published author, blogger and the Coordinator of the Bridge
MOPS group in Fresno.</span></i><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
MOPS at the Bridgehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16380079073580113306noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1852243909679975760.post-45004504169715399602016-03-16T07:53:00.002-07:002016-03-16T07:53:25.678-07:00Noticing Goodness in the Gifts Around Me<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgR33uvuiac9tlO-UCuGOukFCZ35jWbBjiHEGyO_P1ar_LPaYTjxYAOpg3tuRuVv0vpRO1oke2c4Lvt8Kp87EvYDM3_7wdOg3BF99UUizWg7ucEcSJ1ENO8HRGVdmVqdVzvSjF-AENabjcO/s1600/10900177_10155009789710597_2475890563522250440_o.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgR33uvuiac9tlO-UCuGOukFCZ35jWbBjiHEGyO_P1ar_LPaYTjxYAOpg3tuRuVv0vpRO1oke2c4Lvt8Kp87EvYDM3_7wdOg3BF99UUizWg7ucEcSJ1ENO8HRGVdmVqdVzvSjF-AENabjcO/s400/10900177_10155009789710597_2475890563522250440_o.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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I opened my door
on that blustery February morning and there it was – a book tied with a pale
blue ribbon. I could see the now iconic cover with the picture of a robin’s
nest holding two blue eggs. I traced the title script, <i>One Thousand Gifts: A Dare to Live Fully Right Where You Are</i> by Ann
Voskamp. My heart-friend had placed this gift on my porch. She told me it was a
book I <i>must</i> read. In the days and months
and years to follow, this little book became a map, a manual, a manifesto, leading
me through a new life of daring gratitude in the face of adversity. In short, this
book made a lasting impression.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<span style="color: #222222; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">After reading the first </span>chapter of<i> </i><a href="http://www.onethousandgifts.com/"><i><span style="color: windowtext; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">One Thousand Gifts</span></i></a>, tears welled up. I knew this was exactly what I needed for this season
of life. Maybe even for the rest of my life. In <i>One Thousand Gifts</i>, my friend Ann uses the original Greek word
“eucharisteo” from the Bible to light her path to healing, to teach her
language lesson. Eucharisteo means “thanksgiving.” This word knits together two
other Greek words: Charis = grace and Chara = joy. <o:p></o:p></div>
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“Eucharisteo – thanksgiving – always precedes
the miracle,” writes Ann. These words, this thesis, this enlightenment-made-mantra
now penetrates me daily. I can’t stop thinking about it, seeing it everywhere
in the Bible, experiencing it in my footsteps. Jesus thanks God before he turns
five loaves and two fish into a feast for thousands. Twelve baskets of
leftovers sing of the miracle. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjSVk0qTZwIQegcOeXfa2pe7V7ZsVSsh4ZJXWLtQpz-LuEvKTE_H38pgfO7UpxjRM3oEjFPNZ3cpjFxd9KaAjS9QmUS8J1BwZfrJ2INg54X_pgGFj37ZFE9R0q3nQK-jh2kpbLR6bS2I9MX/s1600/10897051_10155095108370597_6334365268958371362_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjSVk0qTZwIQegcOeXfa2pe7V7ZsVSsh4ZJXWLtQpz-LuEvKTE_H38pgfO7UpxjRM3oEjFPNZ3cpjFxd9KaAjS9QmUS8J1BwZfrJ2INg54X_pgGFj37ZFE9R0q3nQK-jh2kpbLR6bS2I9MX/s400/10897051_10155095108370597_6334365268958371362_n.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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Through her poetic
prose and personal story, Ann unfolds a theology of gratitude. She dared me
(and now millions of others) to start writing down gifts – the daily graces in
my life that are pure love notes from God. “How do you count on life when the
hopes don’t add up?” she boldly asks. And then she taught me to “count
blessings and discover who can be counted on” (151).<o:p></o:p></div>
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During that first
read, I was in a season of waiting. Our
family was embarking on a new calling - moving to Haiti after the massive
earthquake of 2010 to serve with a non-profit my husband was leading called <a href="http://www.christianfriendshipministries.org/"><span style="color: windowtext; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">Christian Friendship Ministries</span></a>. In the waiting, I clung to Ann’s words and
we crammed in Haitian Kreyol language lessons. We anticipated leaving our beloved
community and starting a new life in the developing world. While I waited, I
counted gifts. When our house wouldn’t sell after months and the roof leaked
through the rainy season, I counted gifts. I created a list in my journal,
shared it with friends, and began to post it on <a href="http://alohagilmores.blogspot.com/search?q=one+thousand+gifts"><span style="color: windowtext; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">my blog</span></a> and Facebook as an act of public, wild
gratitude to my God. My attitude and heart tasted redemption.<o:p></o:p></div>
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During those months of counting, I learned
to adjust my lens. Whereas before I might have followed my human instinct to
complain, put on a hat of cynism, even a robe of jealousy, now there were
grooves of habit prompting me to pray and see each moment as a gift. I learned
that it doesn't help to just put a positive spin on the hard parts of life. We
need to dig through the soil, unearth the painful shards of glass and see the
beauty in that traveled journey. I learned to trust Him with my
fears, my plans, my future. <o:p></o:p></div>
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In
May 2014, when my husband was diagnosed with stage four melanoma cancer, I
pulled out the book again with trembling hands and reread the lines I had
highlighted, the pages I had dog-eared. This was my fourth reading and much of
the book was already tattooed on my heart. God had faithfully prepared me for
that devastating season of losing my love, the daddy of my three daughters. I
already had learned the transforming wonder of counting gifts. I already had
made it a habit to turn my face toward the Son with my list of gratitude in the
midst of the suffocating darkness. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Ann’s words
soothed me in my suffering: “The good news is that all those living the land of
the shadow of death have been birthed into new life, that the transfiguration
of a suffering world has already begun. That suffering nourishes grace, and
pain and joy are arteries of the same heart – and mourning and dancing are but
movements in His unfinished symphony of beauty” (100). She pointed me back to
hope and His goodness.<o:p></o:p></div>
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If you are in a
season of waiting, a season of loss, a season of wondering why there is so much
suffering in our world, I challenge you to start a gift list. If you feel like
you are just mucking through the everyday tasks of being a mother or a job that
makes your shoulders pull tight with the weight of stress, I dare you to pause
and notice the goodness around you. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiO0uREIM9Ea3tTungjCm8IUOfskIHmmqtl8INTETroO9gTzCUHaIiy5v5HlJxI8uuJDRc7-UA0OVAnlvdR9d-gDx_3-g2N-tHXPiR9zP72bylFhY-mIdGVZs9XNB3w32SdgU4R95GClH_E/s1600/sydg_married_0211.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="266" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiO0uREIM9Ea3tTungjCm8IUOfskIHmmqtl8INTETroO9gTzCUHaIiy5v5HlJxI8uuJDRc7-UA0OVAnlvdR9d-gDx_3-g2N-tHXPiR9zP72bylFhY-mIdGVZs9XNB3w32SdgU4R95GClH_E/s400/sydg_married_0211.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<i>Dorina Gilmore-Young is a published author,
blogger and public speaker. She is a mama to three active girls and serves as
the Coordinator for The Bridge MOPS group. <o:p></o:p></i></div>
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MOPS at the Bridgehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16380079073580113306noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1852243909679975760.post-72575241232334893392016-02-25T07:40:00.000-08:002016-04-13T12:24:08.884-07:00In Sickness and in Health<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiB4xO3PDnLyaNW0psTFwxqrygQR4oH5cv2Dxq5U-qb00cju_Bcq59vug63M-Qiv_mUBXNRQKXSEL0TgXfQ3HW5Gv9HPvFhbJ8K32bkVim89aww4tF8NbS-i85CKdUTK0IEEoQnHdyRbRRD/s1600/217477_10150548014000597_6097228_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiB4xO3PDnLyaNW0psTFwxqrygQR4oH5cv2Dxq5U-qb00cju_Bcq59vug63M-Qiv_mUBXNRQKXSEL0TgXfQ3HW5Gv9HPvFhbJ8K32bkVim89aww4tF8NbS-i85CKdUTK0IEEoQnHdyRbRRD/s400/217477_10150548014000597_6097228_n.jpg" width="266" /></a></div>
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<span style="line-height: 200%; text-indent: 0.5in;">Thirteen years ago
I stood up on a mountain in the presence of a host of friends and family and
promised to care for my husband in sickness and in health. At age 25, this
promise did not feel like much of a sacrifice. Some of the other promises I
made to him that day felt like a leap of faith but health was something I
didn’t think much about or really question. We were young; we were athletes; we
were ready to “adventure through life together” as we pledged in our vows we
had written ourselves.</span></div>
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<o:p></o:p></div>
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Much about that
day is still vivid in my memory. I can smell the tropical orchids I carried in
my bouquet. I can see my dearest friends from around the country all lined up
in their ruby-red dresses to support me. I can hear the bag pipes announcing
our grand march down the aisle. I can taste the French cream puffs and the Ben
& Jerry’s Chubby Hubby ice cream we served up for dessert. I remember how
we danced and danced and danced the night away. <o:p></o:p></div>
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I also remember
that some parts of that day were unexpected. I had always dreamed of getting
married in Yosemite National Park. We couldn’t find a venue big enough to marry
inside the park so we decided on the beautiful Tenaya Lodge just outside the
South Gate. We had rented a limo for the wedding party and planned to take
everyone inside the park to the famous Half Dome lookout for pictures. The
morning of the wedding it stormed. The sky was swirling with dark clouds, and the
streets were low visibility. We had to settle with indoor pictures in the hotel
lobby. <o:p></o:p></div>
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The unexpected
gift from this winter storm came during our ceremony. Just as we were saying
our vows, glittering snow began to fall
– a glorious backdrop for all to
see through the giant picture window behind us. I never imagined my perfect
spring wedding with that tropical flair including snow but it felt like God’s
way of smiling down on us after the unexpected storm.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Little did I know
the real storm would come 11 years later when my beloved was diagnosed with
stage four melanoma cancer. This would
be the real test of the vow I made that day to care for him through sickness
and health.<o:p></o:p></div>
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And this is how
marriage is – less about the fairy-tale stuff and more about the unexpected,
the challenges and how two people might choose to face them. Ericlee and I were
fortunate because we had mentors and friends who helped us on our marriage
journey. These were people who preached to us about not allowing the small
stuff to become big stuff. These were friends who prayed over us and held us
accountable even when we faced trouble with finances and stressful career
decisions. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Looking back, I
can honestly say I have no regrets. Don’t get me wrong: we did not have a
perfect marriage. We argued plenty and there were times I did not submit to my
husband’s leadership as I had vowed on that wedding day. Yet God covered this
all with grace. And when we were together there was synergy. The combination of
our passions and efforts always yielded a greater result than when we acted
solo. <span style="line-height: 200%; text-indent: 0.5in;">We had many grand adventures together - from traveling to Spain to see cousins to running a non-profit in Haiti, from running marathons together to birthing three baby girls, from caring for my elderly grandpa to attending grad school in Virginia, from teaching to coaching to serving together in a myriad of ways.</span></div>
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I stand here today
without regret, without shame, without guilt for the past. I live in freedom,
knowing my marriage vows were complete on September 9, 2014 when Ericlee
graduated to Heaven. I know this is a peace only God could give me in spite of
our own shortcomings. My challenge to my married friends today is this
question: what do you need to do in your marriage so that you have no regrets
when death parts you? My challenge to my single friends is to ask yourself: how
can I learn from past mistakes and invest deeply in my present relationships? <o:p></o:p></div>
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On January 16,
2016, I stood at the altar with a man God sent to be my husband and the father
of my three daughters in this new season. I met Shawn on the very same trip to Haiti 15 years ago when I met Ericlee. He stood up in our wedding as a groomsman. He has been a faithful friend and supporter of our non-profit for years. I never dreamed I’d get the chance to
marry again or to speak new vows. As I enter into this new marriage covenant, my
perspective is so different from when I was that 25-year-old girl. I’m starting
today with the end in mind.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhTLZqQpK6-2Cgxis_EPgMFM5tT8hLiUD5jpdcdR9GsWUSyfPm-PaC-oPAOlbcYi4qHoTXEgfVeCO43LEQ7SYtC0xv8fTRFWPKfqbaaRonfkCsTfDEWRuvXMgwK8TkbXTUAfuhMozT573iY/s1600/sydg_married_0109.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="266" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhTLZqQpK6-2Cgxis_EPgMFM5tT8hLiUD5jpdcdR9GsWUSyfPm-PaC-oPAOlbcYi4qHoTXEgfVeCO43LEQ7SYtC0xv8fTRFWPKfqbaaRonfkCsTfDEWRuvXMgwK8TkbXTUAfuhMozT573iY/s400/sydg_married_0109.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<i>Dorina
Gilmore-Young is mama to 3 girls and thrilled to be a wife to her new hubby,
Shawn. She is a published author and the Coordinator of the Bridge MOPS group. <o:p></o:p></i></div>
MOPS at the Bridgehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16380079073580113306noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1852243909679975760.post-65344853261812564332016-02-18T11:12:00.001-08:002016-02-21T17:06:36.267-08:00Dangerous Access: Protecting Children from the Path of Pornography<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgGRHZWhTbbbClCGCEc0cQpaz1uncAyqzhjiS5_HA6fHHAmlsOVr-NGB3rTuDDcZ8otN_EZxtAm512aWyBiDy-CmH5fCheDh5lflQoEWe4HMWnpmB5cajY93h6hZgl1BsydDKgVPAecSdD8/s1600/Teen+on+computer-+parenting+skills-+kids+care.PNG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="299" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgGRHZWhTbbbClCGCEc0cQpaz1uncAyqzhjiS5_HA6fHHAmlsOVr-NGB3rTuDDcZ8otN_EZxtAm512aWyBiDy-CmH5fCheDh5lflQoEWe4HMWnpmB5cajY93h6hZgl1BsydDKgVPAecSdD8/s400/Teen+on+computer-+parenting+skills-+kids+care.PNG" width="400" /></a></div>
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Pornography affects us all. Maybe you’re in a relationship with someone who views it or struggle with pornography yourself. Maybe you have friends or family members impacted by it. We are all at risk of pornography exposure, especially the most vulnerable among us; our children. Pornography is ever-present in our world and, as caring parents, we must pay attention.</div>
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I believe every child will see pornography. After years of studying the effects of pornography on children and its widespread availability, I am convinced of this. Still, most parents optimistically hold to the "not my child" belief. But with continual increases in technological advances combined with widespread internet availability, we would be wise to prepare all of our children.</div>
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How can we prepare? We can do this by protecting our children both externally and <span style="text-decoration: underline;">internally</span>. This must begin with education. I urge all concerned parents to explore the “Resources” paper provided. This page highlights many helpful books, articles, and websites aimed at equipping parents. This information can guide parents in setting up protective software on devices (cell phones, computers, iPads, etc). It also provides guidance on how to talk with children, in age appropriate ways, about the dangers of pornography and what to do when they see it. For parents whose children have already seen pornography, addiction treatment resources are also included.</div>
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Let me share a powerful story about one mother’s experience after a seminar: </div>
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"Just wanted to say thank you for this night, this topic, this information. On Forest's recommendation, we bought the book "<span id="yui_3_16_0_1_1455821836776_2351" style="text-decoration: underline;">Good Pictures, Bad Pictures,</span>" read it with our kids, and learned that at 9 (our daughter) and 7 (our son), our kids have both already viewed pornographic images. This allowed us to have a discussion we would not have even thought to have! Thank you!”</div>
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Despite the fear this topic induces in parents, there is hope. While the task of protecting our children is daunting, we can <a href="https://lifestarcentralvalley.wordpress.com/children-teens-and-parents/resource-handout-for-parents/">do so much</a>. Even for parents who have made mistakes in this area, today is a great day to take this new information and start again.</div>
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It is my hope that each person reading this message will be inspired to seek help for themselves and those they love. It is my courageous conviction that we can change the course of history for our children, starting with protecting our homes and preparing their younger hearts.</div>
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Let's begin today.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiThO0UirHAeY2unW-8ej57zDVOjaWSz4oq19NNb_iONGz1ItIZ1SAgfPZIQw1DSFaFrrZ3TlmSzquRbn5q3ryp4OEfSshMIoIZQIRgkN4C3uFNQcjxdAPdmRxzcwmlMhCHxx0nqqN-BDVO/s1600/forest+2014+headshot+%25281%2529.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiThO0UirHAeY2unW-8ej57zDVOjaWSz4oq19NNb_iONGz1ItIZ1SAgfPZIQw1DSFaFrrZ3TlmSzquRbn5q3ryp4OEfSshMIoIZQIRgkN4C3uFNQcjxdAPdmRxzcwmlMhCHxx0nqqN-BDVO/s200/forest+2014+headshot+%25281%2529.jpg" width="133" /></a><i>Forest Benedict is a Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist who specializes in sexual addiction treatment. He is a husband and father who strives to change the world his children are growing up in. His personal mission is to educate and equip adults to protect all children from pornography. Read more of his writing on this topic at <a href="https://lifestarcentralvalley.wordpress.com/children-teens-and-parents/">Lifestar</a> and other topics on his <a href="http://forestbenedict.com/">personal blog</a>.</i><br />
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<span class="a-size-large"><span style="font-family: "cambria" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;">MORE RESOURCES</span></span><o:p></o:p></h2>
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<span class="a-size-large"><span style="font-family: "cambria" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt;">Forest Benedict, MA, Sexual Addiction
Treatment Provider, LMFT</span></span><o:p></o:p></h2>
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<span class="a-size-large"><span style="font-family: "cambria" , serif; font-size: 11.0pt; font-weight: normal;">Author of </span></span><span class="a-size-large"><span lang="DE" style="font-family: "cambria" , serif; font-size: 11.0pt; font-weight: normal;">“</span></span><span class="a-size-large"><span style="font-family: "cambria" , serif; font-size: 11.0pt; font-weight: normal;">Protecting Children
from the Path of Pornography”</span></span><o:p></o:p></h2>
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<span class="a-size-large"><span style="font-family: "cambria" , serif; font-size: 11.0pt; font-weight: normal;">Clinical Director of
YouthSTAR Treatment Program (for teens) and LifeSTAR (for adults)</span></span><o:p></o:p></h2>
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<span class="a-size-large"><span style="font-family: "cambria" , serif; font-size: 11.0pt; font-weight: normal;">(559) 715-4478 </span></span><o:p></o:p></h2>
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<span class="a-size-large"><span style="font-family: "cambria" , serif; font-size: 11.0pt; font-weight: normal;">forest@roubicekandthacker.com</span></span><o:p></o:p></h2>
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<o:p> </o:p></h2>
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<span class="a-size-large"><u><span style="font-family: "cambria" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt;">Resources
for Parents:</span></u></span><o:p></o:p></h2>
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: "symbol"; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;">•<span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal;">
</span></span><!--[endif]-->“When Your Child is Looking at Porn: A
Step-By-Step Guide for Christian Parents” <span class="a-size-large"><u>http://www.covenanteyes.com/when-your-child-is-looking-at-porn/</u></span><o:p></o:p></div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: "symbol"; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;">•<span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal;">
</span></span><!--[endif]-->“The Guideline: A Parent’s Guide to Addressing
Pornography with Children” <span class="a-size-large"><u>http://store.fightthenewdrug.org/products/the-guideline-pdf</u></span>
<o:p></o:p></div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: "symbol"; font-size: 12.0pt; font-weight: normal;">•<span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal;"> </span></span><!--[endif]--><span class="a-size-large"><span style="font-family: "cambria" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; font-weight: normal;">Porn-Proof
Kids: Tips & Tools to Protect Young Minds - </span></span><span class="Link"><span style="font-family: "cambria" , serif; font-size: 12pt; font-weight: normal;">pornproofkids.com</span></span><span style="font-family: "cambria" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; font-weight: normal;"><o:p></o:p></span></h2>
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: "symbol"; font-size: 12.0pt; font-weight: normal;">•<span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal;"> </span></span><!--[endif]--><span class="a-size-large"><span style="font-family: "cambria" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; font-weight: normal;">Educate
Empower Kids - <u>http://educateempowerkids.org/resources/</u></span></span><span style="font-family: "cambria" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; font-weight: normal;"><o:p></o:p></span></h2>
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><span lang="DE" style="font-family: "symbol"; font-size: 12.0pt; font-weight: normal;">•<span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal;">
</span></span><!--[endif]--><span class="a-size-large"><span lang="DE" style="font-family: "cambria" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; font-weight: normal;">Internet
Safety 101 - </span></span><span class="a-size-large"><u><span style="font-family: "cambria" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; font-weight: normal;">http://www.internetsafety101.org/safety101.htm</span></u></span><span lang="DE" style="font-family: "cambria" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; font-weight: normal;"><o:p></o:p></span></h2>
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: "symbol"; font-size: 12.0pt; font-weight: normal;">•<span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal;"> </span></span><!--[endif]--><span class="a-size-large"><span style="font-family: "cambria" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; font-weight: normal;">LifeSTAR: <u>lifestarcentralvalley.wordpress.com/children-teens-and-parents</u></span></span><span style="font-family: "cambria" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; font-weight: normal;"><o:p></o:p></span></h2>
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</span></span><!--[endif]-->“The Moment Your Child Sees Porn: How to
Prepare”<o:p></o:p></div>
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<span class="a-size-large"><u>https://lifestarcentralvalley.wordpress.com/2015/10/21/the-moment-your-child-sees-
</u></span><o:p></o:p></div>
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<span class="a-size-large"> <u>pornography-how-to-prepare/</u></span><o:p></o:p></div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: "symbol"; font-size: 12.0pt; font-weight: normal;">•<span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal;"> </span></span><!--[endif]--><span class="a-size-large"><span style="font-family: "cambria" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; font-weight: normal;">How
We Love Our Kids (2011), Yerkovich (connecting with kids)</span></span></h2>
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<u style="font-size: 15px; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="font-family: "cambria" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt;">Resources
for Children & Teens:</span></u></h2>
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: "symbol"; font-size: 12.0pt; font-weight: normal;">•<span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal;"> </span></span><!--[endif]--><span class="a-size-large"><span style="font-family: "cambria" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; font-weight: normal;">Good
Pictures, Bad Pictures (Jenson) - </span></span><span class="a-size-large"><u><span lang="DE" style="font-family: "cambria" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; font-weight: normal;">Goodpicturesbadpictures.com</span></u></span><span class="a-size-large"><span style="font-family: "cambria" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; font-weight: normal;">
(Kids)</span></span><span style="font-family: "cambria" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; font-weight: normal;"><o:p></o:p></span></h2>
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: "symbol"; font-size: 12pt;">•<span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal;">
</span></span><!--[endif]--><span class="a-size-large"><span style="font-family: "cambria" , serif; font-size: 12pt;">Fortify: A Step Toward Recovery (2013) –
Fight The New Drug (Teens)</span></span><span style="font-family: "cambria" , serif; font-size: 12pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: "symbol"; font-size: 12.0pt; font-weight: normal;">•<span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal;"> </span></span><!--[endif]--><span class="a-size-large"><span style="font-family: "cambria" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; font-weight: normal;">Fight
the New Drug: <u>fightthenewdrug.org</u></span></span><span style="font-family: "cambria" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; font-weight: normal;"><o:p></o:p></span></h2>
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: "symbol"; font-size: 12.0pt; font-weight: normal;">•<span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal;"> </span></span><!--[endif]--><span class="a-size-large"><span style="font-family: "cambria" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; font-weight: normal;">What’s
the Big Deal About Pornography: A Guide for the Internet Generation, For Teens
& Parents - Dr. Jill Manning,</span></span><span style="font-family: "cambria" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; font-weight: normal;"><o:p></o:p></span></h2>
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<span class="a-size-large"><u><span style="font-family: "cambria" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt;">Addiction
Resources</span></u></span><span class="a-size-large"><u><span style="font-family: "cambria" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; font-weight: normal;">:</span></u></span><o:p></o:p></h2>
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: "symbol"; font-size: 12.0pt; font-weight: normal;">•<span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal;"> </span></span><!--[endif]--><span class="a-size-large"><span style="font-family: "cambria" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; font-weight: normal;">YouthSTAR
of the Central Valley: Treatment Program for teenagers (559) 323-8484 </span></span><span class="Link"><span style="font-family: "cambria" , serif; font-size: 12pt; font-weight: normal;">Roubicekandthacker.com/youthstar-overcoming-pornography-for-teens</span></span><span style="font-family: "cambria" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; font-weight: normal;"><o:p></o:p></span></h2>
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: "symbol"; font-size: 12.0pt; font-weight: normal;">•<span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal;"> </span></span><!--[endif]--><span class="a-size-large"><span style="font-family: "cambria" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; font-weight: normal;">Fortify
Online Recovery Program: FREE for ages
20 & under: </span></span><span class="Link"><span style="font-family: "cambria" , serif; font-size: 12pt; font-weight: normal;">fortifyprogram.org</span></span><span class="a-size-large"><span lang="DE" style="font-family: "cambria" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; font-weight: normal;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: "cambria" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; font-weight: normal;"><o:p></o:p></span></h2>
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<span class="a-size-large"><u><span style="font-family: "cambria" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt;">Pornography
Protection Tools</span></u></span><span class="a-size-large"><span style="font-family: "cambria" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt;">:</span></span><o:p></o:p></h2>
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: "symbol"; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;">•<span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal;">
</span></span><!--[endif]-->Filter & Accountability Software (computer,
iPad, phone, etc): <span class="a-size-large"><u>CovenantEyes.com </u></span>(free
30-day trial, can use promo code: <span class="a-size-large"><b>safepath</b></span>)<o:p></o:p></div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: "symbol"; font-size: 12.0pt; font-weight: normal;">•<span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal;"> </span></span><!--[endif]--><span class="a-size-large"><span style="font-family: "cambria" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; font-weight: normal;">Open
DNS: Blocks adult website access on
every device in the home </span></span><span class="Link"><span style="font-family: "cambria" , serif; font-size: 12pt; font-weight: normal;">https://www.opendns.com/home-internet-security/
</span></span><span class="Link"><u><span style="font-family: "cambria" , serif; font-size: 12pt; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none;">(free)</span></u></span><span style="font-family: "cambria" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; font-weight: normal;"><o:p></o:p></span></h2>
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: "symbol"; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;">•<span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal;">
</span></span><!--[endif]-->Movies/Videos/Music/TV/Games Reviews: <span class="Link">pluggedin.com</span><o:p></o:p></div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: "symbol"; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;">•<span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal;">
</span></span><!--[endif]--><span class="Link"><u><span style="text-decoration: none;">A Proactive Approach to Porn-Proofing Your Devices </span></u></span><span class="a-size-large"><u>https://lifestarcentralvalley.wordpress.com/2015/12/17/a-proactive-approach-to-porn-proofing-your-presents-this-christmas-8-resources/</u></span><o:p></o:p></div>
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MOPS at the Bridgehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16380079073580113306noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1852243909679975760.post-76869729099328979322016-01-28T16:56:00.000-08:002016-02-21T17:07:30.009-08:00Tears Over Toes<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">I was completely out of my comfort zone.</span></div>
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<span style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">I had even </span><i>researched</i><span style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> the difference between acrylic, gel, and shellac; between gel polish and nail polish, only to decide that it was all too much for me. I stood near the entrance to the salon searching for the most innocuous, fade-into-the-background shade of regular old polish-that-lasts-3-days. I have had a manicure twice – now three times – in my life. Once for a prom, and once – now twice – for a friend’s wedding. My nails are stubby because they are not allowed to extend beyond the pressed down tip of my nail since I play violin. My toe nails… Well, I run – at least that seems like a useful excuse these days.</span></div>
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<span style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">I think this is how many people feel going to the gym for the first time. Totally laser focused on what I perceived to be a great flaw and then made even more insecure as I see the way my behavior is highlighting that I don’t really fit in here – a strange feedback loop of insecurity.</span></div>
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<span style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">After staring at far too many shades for far too long, I settled on a plain mauve and a translucent glitter. I solicited somewhat muted affirmation from at least two other people for moral support and made my way to a massage chair where I was finally able to relax a little. I mean, really. This is a mani/pedi with friends date. Isn’t this what I’m supposed to do to relax? </span></div>
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<span style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">After all was said and done and I had apologized to my nail technician half a dozen times for my ragged nails, I was quite happy with my much-improved nails and was able to forget about myself and enjoy lunch with some of my favorite people on the planet. It’s like that, isn’t it. Our self-discontent keeps our focus on ourselves. I found myself reflecting on how important it is to remember that a little bit of intentional self-focus can help me to be less self-centered generally.</span></div>
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The following day, I sat with a dear friend who had been at the salon that day and she went out of her way to encourage me specifically in the insecurity she had seen on display.</div>
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<span style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">She said to me, “I know that you were feeling self-conscious about your toes back there. But I just want you to remember that your toes are not ugly. They are crowns on your feet. Feet that have run endless miles, traveled around the world, born the weight of pregnancy and now toddlers. They are nothing to be ashamed of. And they deserve a little pampering from time to time.”</span></div>
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<span style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Wow. Who would have thought the tears would flow over my toes?</span></div>
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Self-neglect and self-condemnation are not selfless. But when we are caught in that sort of thinking, sometimes we just need someone else to pull us out.</div>
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<span style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Where in your life do you struggle with self-neglect or self-condemnation?</span></div>
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<span style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">How might you intentionally take care of yourself in this area?</span></div>
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<span style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Who in your life encourages you when you are caught in the trap of self-centeredness?</span></div>
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<span style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Who can you speak life into this week?</span></div>
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<i>Heather Fenton is a Christ-follower, devoted wife, and mama to four littles who give her plenty to write about, but little time to sit down and write.</i></div>
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MOPS at the Bridgehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16380079073580113306noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1852243909679975760.post-92112879166307459942015-12-03T17:08:00.000-08:002016-03-16T07:48:29.842-07:00A Way Called Hope<div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #373737; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 24.375px; margin-bottom: 1.625em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Painted storefronts proclaim joy, peace, and goodwill. Christmas cards from family and friends wish us blessings, prosperity, and good cheer. Glittering fireplace mantels seek to inspire a festive atmosphere with softly lit lettering spelling, “holy night,” “Hallelujah,” and “hope.” When these words and expressions are made seasonal it is all too easy to gloss over the enormity behind the letters. Even Christians who give these words full attention eleven months of the year find their flavor diluted in the commercialism and the busyness of the Christmas season.</span></div>
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<span style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">And of course in the face of that commercialism and busyness, we mamas ironically find ourselves taking great pains to slow down for the sake of our sanity and our littles. One of the many things I counterintuitively add to my calendar in December in order to slow down is the women’s ministry Christmas dessert at The Bridge. At this event last week, I was particularly struck afresh by the word, “hope,” displayed in sparkling red letters with an enormous wreath standing in for the “o.”</span></div>
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<span style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Why hope? And how? My mind first wanders to our weary hearts already bracing for the next devastation: Refugees fleeing unspeakable atrocities only to find resentment and closed doors. The legacy of slavery and institutionalized racism wreaking havoc on yet another generation. Another mass shooting. We certainly can’t hold fast to hope by trusting in our fellow man to hold love over self-interest.</span></div>
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<span style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">What about the daily of the Christmas season? Do you find yourself as I do, </span><i>hoping</i><span style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> for good attitudes and clothes kept clean for pictures? </span><i>Hoping</i><span style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> that I won’t cave too often in the face of too many delectable confections? </span><i>Hoping</i><span style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> that the Amazon shipments will come in time for Christmas morning and the kids won’t notice how few things are under the tree?</span><i>Hoping</i><span style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> that somehow ends will meet? </span><i>Hoping</i><span style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> that we will fit in more than the 8 Advent devotionals we managed last year? </span><i>Hoping</i><span style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> for the energy to spend and treasure time with the people we love dearly, but who often leave us drained?</span></div>
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<span style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">This hoping in circumstances that so often go awry can’t possibly be the hope that we are summoned to celebrate at Christmas, can it?</span></div>
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<span style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">A good family picture is often a fluke rather than a result of our good planning (or attempts at controlling). A winter snowstorm or inventory management issue could delay shipments well beyond Christmas morning. Ends don’t meet because we hope they will when we are spending money. Hoping the kids will stick around for the entire devotional is a surefire way to leave at least a few people in tears (Mama included!).</span></div>
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One of the readings from the women’s desert last week included this tidbit that forced my reflection on the depth and breadth of the hope we do have: “Christmas is evidence that God keeps His promises.” In the midst of our brokenness and pain, God has a plan for redemption that is moving in and around us. And that is where Christmas call us to celebrate hope.</div>
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<span style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">At Christmas, we celebrate God’s extravagant, humble, and much foretold collision with the fullness of humanity through the birth of His son, Jesus Christ. Fully God and fully human. Emmanuel. God with us. Born fully man, Jesus experienced creation as we do. In the face of the very temptations we face in life (Matt 4; Luke 4), His holiness – His fully God-ness qualified His life as payment for the sins of the world over. “For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Jesus our Lord.” And so, for all who fall short of the glory of God (Romans 3:23), our human hopelessness is met with the only hope that we can hold fast to. The only hope not dependent on our never-quite-right circumstances. The fragile baby in the feeding trough who would make a way for us to be reconciled forever with our God. A way in a manger. A way called hope.</span></div>
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<span style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><i>Heather Fenton is a Christ-follower, devoted wife, and mama to four littles who give her plenty to write about, but little time to sit down and write.</i></span></div>
MOPS at the Bridgehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16380079073580113306noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1852243909679975760.post-56199845838268594162015-10-23T09:00:00.000-07:002015-10-23T20:44:39.763-07:00Flourishing in our passions<div class="MsoNormal">
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiguoL4x0Jv2Ch9WX22ffuiqZAqzCAGulw4nXMSSyKcpVO99qFTFIRUsq0negm8-lZchKY_3b4XLbu-qa9MCQH98rAjuXDBZD0Bw6TkWvlh81MkzYDQAcpnBTry5XVOMY1c8tiXqrgV5tIA/s1600/12080312_10156156296975597_3764010971116297137_o.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiguoL4x0Jv2Ch9WX22ffuiqZAqzCAGulw4nXMSSyKcpVO99qFTFIRUsq0negm8-lZchKY_3b4XLbu-qa9MCQH98rAjuXDBZD0Bw6TkWvlh81MkzYDQAcpnBTry5XVOMY1c8tiXqrgV5tIA/s400/12080312_10156156296975597_3764010971116297137_o.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">No one told
me how hard it would be. No one told me how traumatic the birthing experience
would feel. No one told me I wasn’t going to fit into my pre-pregnancy clothes
on the way home from the hospital. No one told me how long I was going to have
to sit in that glider every day nursing my newborn. No one told me how many
weeks it was going to take for my body (and my mind!) to recover.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">I loved my
baby girl fiercely. There was no doubt about it. I was madly in love with her
from the first time I held her in my arms and caressed her baby skin. What I
didn’t anticipate was the rough transition into motherhood. I did <i>not</i> love my
life.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">I had gone
from a high-energy career as a newspaper reporter and teaching at the
university to sitting on a donut pillow in a glider for 6-8 hours a day nursing
my baby. I was committed to breastfeeding but I questioned that decision every
time I felt the knife-like pain ripple through my chest when she fed. As I sat
there, all I could think about were the worst things I had experienced in my
life and how I was exposing this perfect child to an imperfect world. I
wept. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">Let’s just
say I was far from flourishing. Floundering was more like it.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">I
was grappling with the idea that in gaining a child I was also giving up my
identity. My days were blending into my nights and every ounce of energy was
spent on my daughter. Motherhood wasn’t as idyllic as I dreamed it would be. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">Carving out time for mama<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">Fast forward
10 years, and now I have 3 girls. Between raising my kids, taxi-driving them to
activities, cooking meals, doing laundry, working part-time, hosting a mama
workout group and leading at my church, life is full. Through the years I have
learned how important it is to carve out time to feed my soul. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">Jessica M.
Turner, in her book, <i>The Fringe Hours:
Making Time For You</i>, speaks into this: “I’m here to tell you that you not
only<i> can</i> but <i>must</i> take time to do things that matter to you, no matter how busy
life gets…. You should use your gifts and passions not just for others but to
fill you up. It is all too common today to run on empty</span><span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 107%;">, but I have learned
that life is so much better when you make yourself a priority.”</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">Jessica
challenges and inspires me with this idea that we all have little pockets of
time that we can and should use to feed our creative souls. I know it’s
sometimes overwhelming to even think about doing something for ourselves. I
have discovered that I am a better mama when I give myself permission to step
outside the to-do list and the responsibilities of the day and pursue something
(however small) for me.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">Uncovering our passions<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">There are
many things I dream about doing in my “free time,” but only a few things that
truly rejuvenate my soul. While I would love to be an organic gardener or
painter or dancer or sing in the worship band, those things are not realistic for me in this season. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">I have
chosen three things that I do for myself regularly that are both realistic and
help me venture outside my mommy responsibilities. The first activity is
writing. I started writing children’s books before my oldest daughter was born,
but after I launched into motherhood I seldom found time to pursue that career
goal. When my daughter was a few years old, my husband and I both realized
writing was life-giving for me and I had to be intentional about finding time
to do it. Writing provides a creative outlet for me. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">The second
passion I regularly pursue is running. Through the years, I have discovered
that running is a kind of therapy for me. When I’m running on a trail or on the
track, I feel alive. I have space to think and process. I have room to dream and talk to God. When
I am exercising regularly, I find I have more energy for keeping up with my
kids. I also feel better about myself physically.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">The third
key for me is spending quality time with my people. I am an extrovert. I am
energized by time with others. It may be as simple as grabbing a cup of coffee
with a friend or participating in MOPS. Deeper connection with my people is
important to me. I know I need to be intentional about putting it on my
schedule. I make it a point to plan girls getaway weekends a few times a year
so I can get that much-needed time with the people who support and sharpen me.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">Learning to flourish<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">My challenge
to you is to give yourself space to discover your passions. You might need to
revive something you loved doing in the past or explore a new hobby. These
things don’t need to take a lot of time or money. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">I have a
friend who uses her “fringe hours” to grow and arrange succulents. Another
friend has a passion for justice issues and uses her time to research and
advocate. One mama I know coaches a Zumba class, another makes jewelry, another
knits, while a different friend repurposes furniture. I love seeing the ways
the women I know have chosen to flourish in their passions. As we flourish
ourselves, our family and community benefits too.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">This year
our theme is a “fierce flourishing.” The word flourish means “to thrive, to
grow luxuriantly, to grow in excellence and influence.” I don’t know about you
but I long to flourish in this one life I have to live. And even more I would
love to be planted in a garden of women flourishing all around me.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<i><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">Dorina Lazo Gilmore is a mama of
three creative and energetic girls. She is also the author of 3 children’s
books, including Cora Cooks Pancit, and blogs regularly for Self Talk the
Gospel.<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
MOPS at the Bridgehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16380079073580113306noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1852243909679975760.post-81728335362978149172015-10-01T09:02:00.003-07:002015-10-23T09:34:01.555-07:00A Fierce Flourishing: Embracing Laughter<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiCr0oc9up_21Rj6t4S44TtADj3jYxhku8BxEsppR5PzMsrEbRhtzNYAWKqlUOZGw9H-_8nSCWPDXNy4PRc7tn6DB2nFyDonKZgQ4zYvnVQ9DPSAclOkOZnP-Ami_yb_CCp_I4eeBdr6fO5/s1600/IMG_1555.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="266" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiCr0oc9up_21Rj6t4S44TtADj3jYxhku8BxEsppR5PzMsrEbRhtzNYAWKqlUOZGw9H-_8nSCWPDXNy4PRc7tn6DB2nFyDonKZgQ4zYvnVQ9DPSAclOkOZnP-Ami_yb_CCp_I4eeBdr6fO5/s400/IMG_1555.JPG" width="400" /></a></div>
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My 3-year-old loves the Tickle game.</div>
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It’s a simple game. I just stand and look at her and say,
“I’m gonna tickle you” and she erupts into hysterical laughter. Sometimes I’ll
flutter my fingers in front of her to tease her a little bit without touching
her. She can’t handle the anticipation. She starts to curl into a ball on the
bed and protect her midriff. She knows. She giggles with delight. I’ll pause
and go in for a real tickle of her belly or begin to kiss her sweet little neck.
Laughter ensues.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Her little laugh is priceless. I wish I could bottle it up
and keep it forever. That laugh makes me smile in my soul.<o:p></o:p></div>
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According to the Mayo Clinic, laughter has great short-term
and long-term effects on the body. Laughter stimulates the organs, relieves
responses to stress, soothes tension, improves our immune systems, relieves
pain, help lessen anxiety and depression – and this one may seem obvious –
improves our moods. <o:p></o:p></div>
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A Vanderbilt University study found that 15-20 minutes of
laughter a day can burn up to 40 calories. Now that’s a fun workout plan!<o:p></o:p></div>
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Research alone is enough to convince me that laughter is
beneficial. I have also learned the benefits from personal experience. When my
husband died a year ago, my heart was so heavy I felt like I was walking around
with a boulder in my chest. The grief was so hard to bear. I also had the added
challenge of navigating grief for my three daughters, ages 3, 6 and 9.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgcqBaw1RJiZYP09UWKG21wGYJ0hX5uLGCdR457S4cc7lcxMk-AsNhVy_djgaCnzRbab4hj4YKlrxrvB0lUg5ISds8XpUHLcqD5F76oRYgbE7wftnz1MPxD1j4oSI2T5gRnTsemozRaKF5X/s1600/IMG_1438.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="266" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgcqBaw1RJiZYP09UWKG21wGYJ0hX5uLGCdR457S4cc7lcxMk-AsNhVy_djgaCnzRbab4hj4YKlrxrvB0lUg5ISds8XpUHLcqD5F76oRYgbE7wftnz1MPxD1j4oSI2T5gRnTsemozRaKF5X/s400/IMG_1438.JPG" width="400" /></a></div>
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Here’s what I learned: It’s important for us to cry. We need
to lean into the memories. We need to feel the heartache. We also need to
laugh. Laughter ushers in healing.<o:p></o:p></div>
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We have spent time laughing over pictures and funny faces.
We laugh over goofy things Daddy used to do like the robot dance. We laugh
thinking about the things he might be doing in Heaven today like teaching
angels how to do burpees or leading a choir for off-key worshippers. <o:p></o:p></div>
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The book of Ecclesiastes reminds us, “For everything there
is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven.” Verse 4 goes on to say,
“a time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn and a time to dance…” I
love this juxtaposition of seasons and emotions. The tears are important but so
is the laughter and the dancing. <o:p></o:p></div>
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We need to give ourselves permission to laugh. Sometimes we
take ourselves too seriously as mamas. It’s easy to get caught up in the guilt
and the shame of not measuring up, not having enough patience with our kids, not
finishing enough tasks in a day. It’s easy to push laughter aside and forget its
benefits.<o:p></o:p></div>
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This year as we press into our theme of “A Fierce
Flourishing” and “embracing rest,” I want to challenge you rediscover the
things that make you giggle. Laughter bonds people. Laughter builds trust. Get
some time with your kids or your mama friends around the table, and give
yourself permission to belly laugh. <o:p></o:p></div>
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After all, laughter is the best medicine. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<i>Dorina Lazo Gilmore is
the Coordinator of the Bridge MOPS group and a published author. She is a mama
of 3 active daughters, ages 3, 6 and 9, who love to jump on the trampoline,
paint masterpieces and play the Tickle game.<o:p></o:p></i></div>
MOPS at the Bridgehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16380079073580113306noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1852243909679975760.post-11213874403747569502015-09-10T17:28:00.000-07:002016-02-21T17:29:39.286-08:00A Fierce Flourishing<div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #373737; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 24.375px; margin-bottom: 1.625em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
Frizzy, unwashed hair. Comfy clothes… Okay, pajamas at 3pm. Shoulders tense from holding the crying baby while navigating the empty stroller. Cold macaroni and cheese for lunch… Again. Did I brush my teeth today? This is the picture of surviving mommyhood. And we all know what this feels like, amen? Granted, some days, this very same picture is also the picture of success. Maybe in spite of the tense shoulders and inability to escape to the bathroom alone, we managed to hold it together, modeling patience and grace, chasing two butterflies and one squirrel, and reading all of the books with all of the funny voices. A good day, yes. Thriving, maybe. Fiercely flourishing… maybe not.</div>
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<span style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">This year’s MOPS theme, “A Fierce Flourishing” is drawn from Isaiah 55. In this passage of Old Testament prophecy, Isaiah paints a picture of creation itself redeemed and celebrating the joy, peace, and wholeness of redeemed mankind. “The mountains and hills will burst into song, and the trees of the field will clap their hands!” As the curse of harsh land and thorns is lifted, “Where once there were thorns, cypress trees will grow. Where nettles grew, myrtles will sprout up.”</span></div>
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<img alt="Trees Clapping" class=" wp-image-92 aligncenter" height="332" src="https://thencomesgrace.files.wordpress.com/2015/09/trees-clapping.jpg?w=509&h=332" style="border: 1px solid rgb(221, 221, 221); clear: both; display: block; height: auto; margin: 0.4em auto 1.625em; max-width: 97.5%; padding: 6px;" width="509" /></div>
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<span style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">While this picture is of future redemption, it reveals a latent capacity for joy, peace, and celebration that we can tap into now. But how? A few verses prior, Isaiah paints a parallel between the falling rain bringing life to the earth and the Word of God bringing life to His people. First and foremost, the message of Isaiah is that we would come to God with our thirst and our unrighteousness and that we would find satisfaction, compassion, and abundant pardon. It is from the foundation of that abundance, not from a list of things accomplished or angry words held in until the little ones are in bed that we find our God-given capacity for A FIERCE FLOURISHING. </span></div>
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<span style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">MOPS International unpacks this fierce flourishing as “a deep-in-your-guts experience of gratitude and hope compelling you to raise your hands and dance freer than you ever have before. It is a fierce protection of your most important moments, an invitation to rest and an opportunity to enjoy the people who are right in front of you.” This year, we are going to chase after this fierce flourishing together, as we learn through speakers at the front, discussions at our tables, playdates on the weekends, and even some pretty spectacular special events! It is our prayer that your experience with God and with MOPS this year transforms even the most ordinary moments into opportunities to embrace rest, notice goodness, and celebrate lavishly!</span></div>
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<img alt="2015-08-15 16.22.05" class=" wp-image-95 aligncenter" height="364" src="https://thencomesgrace.files.wordpress.com/2015/09/2015-08-15-16-22-05.jpg?w=486&h=364" style="border: 1px solid rgb(221, 221, 221); clear: both; display: block; height: auto; margin: 0.4em auto 1.625em; max-width: 97.5%; padding: 6px;" width="486" /></div>
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<i>Heather Fenton is a Christ-follower, devoted wife, and mama to four littles who give her plenty to write about, but little time to sit down and write.</i></div>
MOPS at the Bridgehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16380079073580113306noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1852243909679975760.post-31978586269157335882015-03-26T08:33:00.000-07:002015-04-20T08:46:02.787-07:00Courage to Share Faith with our Littles<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjEBFoefMxeSQdGWgjaUs0LI6AolLwBNVPjb0hbBYzqfrjVs2kMhNvnlJryps2JSKsBLYCofauAI7NchuhvN9D2oh2UL9u7PAeOn2okLNOUEXYjFiCe8D7hZ5L8SOMrCiIjr1YmgpaYqaC4/s1600/Streams+in+the+Desert.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjEBFoefMxeSQdGWgjaUs0LI6AolLwBNVPjb0hbBYzqfrjVs2kMhNvnlJryps2JSKsBLYCofauAI7NchuhvN9D2oh2UL9u7PAeOn2okLNOUEXYjFiCe8D7hZ5L8SOMrCiIjr1YmgpaYqaC4/s1600/Streams+in+the+Desert.png" height="320" width="206" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Sharing about God and faith with our kids can sometimes feel
like a daunting task. I think this is mostly because as mamas we are still
working out our own faith. We are all still on the journey of understanding God
and seeking that personal relationship with Him. I feel this strong conviction
that I must be intentional about teaching my three daughters, but then I have
to work out the practical of how to do that.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I had the gift of growing up in a Christian home. My parents
were diligent about taking us to church on Sundays. My mom was bound and
determined for us to read the bible as a family sometime during the week. We
gathered regularly – my mom, my dad, my brother and me – to read a devotional
book and look up something in the Bible, but truth be told those family times
would often end in yelling and gnashing of teeth. My brother was rambunctious.
He and I would fight. My dad wasn’t always engaged. Bottom line: it wasn’t
always pretty.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">One thing I do appreciate about my mom’s efforts in
mandating “family nights” is she taught me the principle of “showing up.”
Sometimes as parents we just need to show up and make it happen. We need to set
aside perfect expectations and embrace the chaos. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">My husband was raised in a family of missionaries. His mama
and grandma were amazing storytellers. They had a way of taking stories from
the Bible and making them come alive. My husband was a teacher by trade and had
a deep desire to teach our girls what he had learned. We would have Sunday
family time where he would have the girls act out bible stories or make bible
quiz games and pass out quarters for correct answers. I would often watch him
in awe and just let him lead. The kids loved it.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Don’t be deceived: those family times were far from perfect.
Typically, one of our children would be walking along the ledge of our bed like
a balance beam, while another was likely doing cartwheels across the bedroom
floor. Someone would be fighting for a costume, someone else melting down.
Sometimes it was me. Somehow in the midst of it all, our girls have grown a
love for God’s word and just being together. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I have learned that we need to be intentional about creating
a space where our kids can learn about the Bible, ask honest questions and
journey with us. We need to give ourselves freedom to define that in a way that
makes sense for our individual families. Maybe you can find that space in the
car on the way to school, at the breakfast table, before bed or another time. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Now that my husband is in heaven I shoulder the
responsibility of teaching my girls about God. I felt paralyzed at first. Then
I gave myself permission to do two things: keep it simple and use my resources.
We don’t have those long extended devotional family times on Sundays like we
used to with daddy. Instead we read his favorite devotional book on nights we
are home together at dinner. I found a kid version of <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Streams in the Desert</i>. My girls whined and complained about reading
it at first. Then I enlisted my oldest (age 8) to read it aloud. She found new
purpose and responsibility in being the reader. She reminds me now when it’s
time to read. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">We take time to discuss the one-page lesson or principle. My
6-year-old daughter is often picking at something on the table or coloring but
somehow she’s still listening and has something insightful to share. There’s a
short prayer at the end and we decided to have someone read a few words at a
time so my 3-year-old could join us and repeat the words. I love to hear her
little voice try to follow along like her big sisters. We all have a part. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">The other night my soul soared as I listened to my
8-year-old explain to her siblings (and her mama!) that after hearing the story
of David from this devotional that she believed her dad’s death was something
God was going to use for good in our lives. She made the connection herself
that our grief and hard year was going to be redeemed for God’s glory. Only the
Holy Spirit could have done that kind of work in her heart. My job as a mama:
showing up.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><em>Dorina Lazo Gilmore is the Coordinator of the Bridge MOPS group. She is a mama to 3 girls, ages 3, 6 and 8. She is published children's book writer and teacher. She loves encouraging women and sharing about finding hope in adversity.</em></span></div>
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<o:p><span style="font-family: Calibri;"> </span></o:p></div>
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<strong>Fave resources for
sharing faith with kids:<o:p></o:p></strong></div>
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<strong>*<a href="http://www.amazon.com/Jesus-Storybook-Bible-Every-Whispers/dp/0310708257/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1429544602&sr=1-1&keywords=the+jesus+storybook+bible">The Jesus StorybookBible</a></strong> by Sally Lloyd-Jones –In a poetic and easy-to-understand way,
Lloyd-Jones unfolds key Bible stories and how they point to Jesus and
salvation. The beautiful illustrations cast the stories in a new and colorful
light. This picture book bible is unique because it appeals to all ages from
toddlers to adults.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<strong><a href="http://www.amazon.com/Streams-Desert-Kids-Devotions-Comfort/dp/0310716004/ref=sr_1_2?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1429544635&sr=1-2&keywords=Streams+in+the+Desert+for+Kids">*Streams in the Desertfor Kids</a></strong> by L.B.E. Cowman – This daily devotional is based off the timeless devotional
for adults but gives a one-page dose with kids in mind that includes a bible
verse, story or anecdote and one-line prayer to share as a family. Good for
elementary-aged kids and older.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<strong><a href="http://www.amazon.com/Heaven-Kids-Randy-Alcorn/dp/1414310404/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1429544683&sr=1-1&keywords=Heaven+for+Kids">*Heaven for Kids</a></strong> by
Randy Alcorn and Linda Washington – This book is great for elementary
school and middle school students. It’s written for kids with short chapters
and lots of references to the Narnia series to engage kids in questions about
faith and heaven.<o:p></o:p></div>
MOPS at the Bridgehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16380079073580113306noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1852243909679975760.post-23794814005748871992015-03-13T10:08:00.000-07:002016-04-13T06:30:56.517-07:00Courage to Live in Community<span style="font-family: "palatino linotype" , serif; font-size: 10.5pt;"><b style="font-weight: normal;"></b></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">One of the scariest realities of becoming a mom is finding other mommies to mommy with. Of course there are the lucky few who seem to have aligned their first pregnancies with those of close friends or siblings, but for most of us, along-side the joyful expectation of that first precious child comes a sense of impending loneliness. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">I first felt it when the school year started in August. After a whirlwind summer of preparing our home and hearts for a new baby and getting in one last unencumbered roadtrip - logging over 3,000 miles, my husband returned to teaching math during the day. And I stayed home. After 3 years of nearly year-round teaching - spending the school years in high school English classrooms and the summers teaching conversational English in China, I stayed home. And stayed home. And stayed home. And went to Target. Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE time that is all mine. In fact, I love it so much that I didn’t really do anything to connect with other people. And, really, I didn’t know how. I was out of practice with finding and engaging in community that wasn’t established institutionally through work. </span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"></span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">And then came the third invitation to join MOPS. I really thought MOPS was for mothers of </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 15px; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">preschoolers</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"> - as in kids in </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 15px; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">preschool</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">… But my ready-to-pop belly and I kept getting invited.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"></span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">And wow. Just wow. The first meeting was overwhelming. I didn’t know where I fit and I didn’t know what to talk about. I’m not sure that I said much of anything, actually. But just listening to these women, I knew that I wanted a way in. A way to dig deeper. And you know what? It happened. And I can’t even tell you how. I just kept showing up. </span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"></span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">There’s this thing that is just true about being a mama in a room full of mamas. We are all in the same boat and we all know it. We ARE a community, we just have to learn to live like it. I’ve learned that the deep stuff - the soul-nourishing community we all crave, starts with the practical. The great thing about that is the practical isn’t so scary. We can sign up for the practical - literally! There is a description of biblical community in the book of Acts that describes the early church sharing meals, pooling resources, and worshipping together. We build the foundations for community when we bring a meal to a new mama, join chaos to chaos for a playdate or a picnic, or invite a family we don’t know well over for dinner. We pool resources when we put on potluck birthday parties, pick up one another’s groceries, carpool to and from school, trade babysitting, and pass along clothes.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"></span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">Where are you being led to engage in community here at MOPS? Keep an eye on the MOPS facebook page for opportunities to bring meals to new mamas. Gather gently-used clothing and toys to pass along to other mamas at meetings. Better yet, find a specific family to regularly pass clothes to. Reach out to the women at your table for playdates or coffee. Host a mama-and-me workout in your backyard or garage. Join the Zumba ministry at Pyle Elementary on Saturday mornings with Katie Valorosi or the MOPS Book Club with me (Heather Fenton). Community begins with and depends on these acts of service and engagement, and our willingness to take even small steps toward going deeper in relationships. We are all on this mommy journey, so let’s not do it alone!</span><br />
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<span style="color: #545454; font-family: "arial";"><em>Heather Fenton is mama to 4 littles 5 and under and facilitates the Bridge MOPS Book Club.</em></span></div>
MOPS at the Bridgehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16380079073580113306noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1852243909679975760.post-39622734631411156612015-03-12T09:07:00.001-07:002016-03-17T13:14:45.723-07:00Courage to Choose Connection over Comparison<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 200%;">You know the scenario all too well. You see her with that cute
outfit, with her adorable kids, with her Pinterest projects, with that new hair
style or those skinny jeans, and you cringe. You see those posts on Facebook
about that great vacation she’s taking or that cuddly picture with her husband,
and you’re just plain jealous. You don’t want to feel that way but it just
keeps surfacing. </span><br />
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 200%;"><o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 200%;">Sound familiar? In an age of Instagram and Facebook, when we
have “full access” to each other’s lives, it’s easy to get caught up in
comparison. It’s easy to start comparing our worst days to someone else’s
highlight reel. It’s far too tempting to get a glimpse of someone at the park
or at church and think, “She really has it all together.” <o:p></o:p></span><br />
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<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 200%;">A few years ago I had the opportunity to attend MomCon, the
national convention put on by the MOPS organization. One of the speakers was
mama-author Shauna Niequist. Her presentation on the topic of “Connection over
Comparison” made a huge impact on me. “Connection is a soul saver, and
comparison is a soul killer,” she said. “Instead of thinking about what God gave
us, we become obsessed with other people’s lives.”<o:p></o:p></span><br />
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<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 200%;">I am ashamed to admit that I have lost friends over comparison.
It pains me to think about it today, but I have had to walk away from
relationships that became toxic in this way. It’s no fun to be in a conversation
where it’s constantly a contest to “one-up” each other. What would happen if we
leaned in and listened instead? What would happen if we congratulated her or
cheered her on for her victories instead of sulking in the background? <o:p></o:p></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 200%;">I have learned through the years that comparison kills
community. My challenge to you today is to fast from comparison. If you are
tempted to compare yourself with another mama, try a genuine compliment
instead. Take a break from the internet and cross the distance between you and
other real mamas. Invite her to the trampoline place or to tea. Find a way to
get your families together for dinner. Brave the harder questions. Dig into the
stories that shape you and not just your status. Create a space for connection
instead of comparison. <o:p></o:p></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 200%;">What I’ve discovered is that when we dive into each other’s
stories, when we welcome people into our messes and everyday challenges, we
discover we are not alone. When I am willing to be vulnerable, others are
willing to be vulnerable too. And somewhere on the journey of inviting and
sharing and connecting, true friendships and authentic community is born.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="color: #141823; font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12pt;">Dorina Lazo Gilmore is mama to three active, uniquely-their-own
girls. She is a published author, teacher and the coordinator of the Bridge
MOPS group.<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
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MOPS at the Bridgehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16380079073580113306noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1852243909679975760.post-25885846501902278992014-12-11T15:22:00.000-08:002014-12-17T15:50:19.021-08:00Be You, Less Busy<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiEdmpf54ZecMnzntnxuFRjegRxOIXXv2kLakBb2PPCjwqBDKXHWIxzNd1FTasOLlfSuC6beGLIuNBa_AD3-OxNgmfTQw24yXGkM30_jqzt7qq4_2gXO7KrEYXRWrwFP_o4wTXBGb4U2l99/s1600/holiday-stress.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiEdmpf54ZecMnzntnxuFRjegRxOIXXv2kLakBb2PPCjwqBDKXHWIxzNd1FTasOLlfSuC6beGLIuNBa_AD3-OxNgmfTQw24yXGkM30_jqzt7qq4_2gXO7KrEYXRWrwFP_o4wTXBGb4U2l99/s1600/holiday-stress.jpg" height="320" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: "Garamond",serif; font-size: 10.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"></span></span><br />
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<span style="color: black; font-family: "Garamond",serif; font-size: 10.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">I like
my holiday traditions. I love the after-Thanksgiving decorating, the walk down
Christmas Tree Lane, the decadent desserts and dinner parties, the wrapping and
unwrapping of Christmas books each night of advent, the doorbuster sales, the
white elephant gift exchanges, the homemade cinnamon rolls and
Christmas Day ravioli. I love Christmas cards and endless twinkling lights and
Pinterest projects. For years, I have pushed through to get it all done, get it
all right, get it all accomplished and then chalked up that ragged, worn-out
feeling as being just part of the bustle of the season. </span><o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
<span style="color: black; font-family: "Garamond",serif; font-size: 10.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;">
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<span style="color: black; font-family: "Garamond",serif; font-size: 10.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">But
this year I know I need to slow it down.</span><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="color: black; font-family: "Garamond",serif; font-size: 10.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;">
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<span style="color: black; font-family: "Garamond",serif; font-size: 10.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">Slow
down our schedule, slow down our commitments, slow down our hearts.</span><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="color: black; font-family: "Garamond",serif; font-size: 10.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;">
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<span style="color: black; font-family: "Garamond",serif; font-size: 10.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">When I
hear the same message resonating from a lot of different places from different
people I respect, I know it's time to start sitting up and paying attention.
This is often the way God tries to show me something important. Truth be told,
God's been whispering this message to me about slowing down Christmas for the
last few years, but I didn't really want to listen. </span><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="color: black; font-family: "Garamond",serif; font-size: 10.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;">
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<span style="color: black; font-family: "Garamond",serif; font-size: 10.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">This
will be a different Christmas for my family - our first Christmas without my
husband who died in September from cancer. Some might be tempted to cancel
Christmas in our circumstances, but with a 3, 5, and 8-year-old I know I can't
do that.</span><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: "Garamond",serif; font-size: 10.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">I do
know I have a perfect opportunity to do something different, to slow it
down and be more intentional.</span><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="color: black; font-family: "Garamond",serif; font-size: 10.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;">
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<span style="color: black; font-family: "Garamond",serif; font-size: 10.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">Author
Brene Brown wrote this in a recent blog post, "We live in a world where
life can easily become pageantry, and the best performers make it look balletic
and effortless. Of course, there’s no such thing as an effortless holiday show.
If you sneak a peek behind most people’s red velvet curtains at holiday time,
you’ll often see houses brimming with anxiety, maxed-out credit cards, crying
children, and marriages that make the cold war look warm and fuzzy. I’m
convinced that the only way out of this is by cancelling the show. Not
canceling the holiday, but giving up the show."</span><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="color: black; font-family: "Garamond",serif; font-size: 10.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;">
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<span style="color: black; font-family: "Garamond",serif; font-size: 10.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">I was
convicted by that. On Thanksgiving, I started thinking through our long list of
Christmas traditions and asking myself why each one is really important. I
found myself dwelling on a few key questions: What am I really longing for this
season? What traditions are just part of the show and which ones really matter
to me?</span></span></span></div>
<span style="color: black; font-family: "Garamond",serif; font-size: 10.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;">
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<span style="color: black; font-family: "Garamond",serif; font-size: 10.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">I
realized that every year I long for two things: quality time to enjoy the
story of Christmas and a meaningful way to bless others. </span></span></span></div>
<span style="color: black; font-family: "Garamond",serif; font-size: 10.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;"><u1:p></u1:p></span><o:p></o:p></span></span></span><br />
<span style="color: black; font-family: "Garamond",serif; font-size: 10.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;">
</span></span></span><span style="color: black; font-family: "Garamond",serif; font-size: 10.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">Looking through my list, I knew
I needed to cut back on at least a third of our holiday traditions and then
cross off a few more that were really meaningful but just made the season far
too busy. It was hard work but there was great freedom I felt in doing it.</span><o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
<span style="color: black; font-family: "Garamond",serif; font-size: 10.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;">
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<span style="color: black; font-family: "Garamond",serif; font-size: 10.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">It's
December 11 and none of my Christmas decorations are up. We are slated to go
get our tree tomorrow night with friends. Our tradition has always been to put
everything up the day after Thanksgiving. We didn't do that this year. And
that's ok. It's one example of a way I gave myself grace and permission to
slow down.</span><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="color: black; font-family: "Garamond",serif; font-size: 10.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;">
</span></span></span><br />
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<span style="color: black; font-family: "Garamond",serif; font-size: 10.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">Instead,
I've spend these first two weeks of Advent reading through a new treasured book
called <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Unwrapping-Greatest-Gift-Celebration-Christmas/dp/1414397542/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1418858600&sr=1-1&keywords=unwrapping+the+greatest+gift"><span style="color: blue;">UNWRAPPING
THE CHRISTMAS STORY</span></a> by Ann Voskamp with my kids. There is a story and
beautiful illustrations lighting each night of Advent. This book has
encouraged some amazing conversations with my girls. We haven't finished every
night's reading or every question, but we have slowed down most nights to
enjoy it together. I have treasured this time. It's a new tradition that really matters to me.</span></span></span></div>
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</span></span></span><br />
<div style="background: white;">
<span style="color: black; font-family: "Garamond",serif; font-size: 10.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">My
challenge to you (and myself) is to slow down for five minutes and ask
yourself: What can I cut out these next few weeks? When can I say no
graciously? What can I take off my to-do list so I can say
yes to the heart of Christmas? If Christmas is about the birth of Emmanuel,
meaning "God with us," I know I don't want to sprint through this
season all bleary-eyed and miss out on the moments I could have with that
God-baby.</span><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="color: black; font-family: "Garamond",serif; font-size: 10.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;">
<u1:p></u1:p>
</span></span></span><br />
<div style="background: white;">
<span style="color: black; font-family: "Garamond",serif; font-size: 10.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><em><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">Dorina
Lazo Gilmore is the Coordinator of the Bridge MOPS. She writes books for
children and also teaches at California State University, Fresno. She is a mama
to three active girls.</span></em><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="color: black; font-family: "Garamond",serif; font-size: 10.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;">
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MOPS at the Bridgehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16380079073580113306noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1852243909679975760.post-58618207322795914652014-10-23T09:30:00.000-07:002016-03-16T07:29:30.272-07:00Be You, Creatively<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">On Friday, I
took my kids to a birthday party. One of the activities was painting. The
hostess mama had paints and paper and brushes for each child. She boldly let
them go to town. My three daughters, who are wild about painting, filled up
every inch of white space with thick, swirling colors. Crimson crashing gold
melting green. My littlest even got some fingers in the action. As they
painted, I noticed something extraordinary: a light in their eyes. This was the
“creator light,” the satisfaction that they were creating something with their
own hands.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">The legendary
painter, Pablo Picasso, said this: “Every child is born an artist. The problem
is staying an artist when you grow up.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">This is the
difficulty. We learn to edit. We start to look around and compare. We recognize
other great artists, and we feel the weight of expectations. We squelch the
creative for the practical.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br />
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">David writes
in Psalm 139: 13: “For you created my inmost being: you knit me together in my
mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your
works are wonderful, I know that full well.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">As I read
the words of this scripture and others, I discover two things: God is our
Creator. He created us to create. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">When I first
became a mama, I discovered the urgency of everyday demands often trumped time
for myself, time to be creative and unwind. With each child, this time
proportionally diminished.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Through the
years I have come to understand that I have to be intentional about creative
space for myself. God has wired me to create. I bring Him glory when I create. This has looked different in
various seasons of my life. My creative seasons have included writing blogs,
painting canvases, making jewelry.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">In other
seasons, it’s been knitting. I love knitting because it involves a beginning
and end. I start with a delicious ball of yarn and end up with a little baby hat
or chunky scarf. There is something deeply satisfying about holding that
finished piece in my hand. I created it. Perhaps it isn’t perfect or what I thought
it might look like but it is my creation. I don’t find this deep satisfaction in
doing the laundry or scrubbing toilets.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I have had
seasons where cooking was my creative space. Sure, it was practical: we needed
to eat. Yet I afforded myself some extra time for perusing cookbooks and making
something more involved because I knew I need the cooking therapy. I knew the
chopping and mixing and tasting was something my creative mama soul needed. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Do you allow
yourself creative space? </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">For you,
maybe it’s gardening or arranging bedroom furniture or sewing or making someone feel welcome in conversation or playing
guitar. I urge you to stop making excuses about your kids and your
shortcomings. Stop “pinning” and start creating.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br />
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I love the
way Erwin McManus, author of The Artisan Soul, puts it: “When you allow the living God to
shake your life loose from all that holds you, and recreate and remake you, you
are once again stepping into your artist’s self."</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I challenge
you today to be you, creatively.</span></div>
MOPS at the Bridgehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16380079073580113306noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1852243909679975760.post-38615923713513600742014-10-09T09:24:00.000-07:002014-10-20T10:09:35.370-07:00Courage to Embrace Your Child's Individuality<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<span style="font-size: 13.0pt; line-height: 115%;">As a mama of
three girls ages 2, 5 and 8, there’s a lot I’m still learning. In fact, every
day is a wild journey of discovery about my girls and myself. One thing I do
know for sure: we are all different.</span>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 13.0pt; line-height: 115%;">That may
sound obvious but it’s a big deal. It’s something I have to constantly remind
myself as I navigate the waters of parenting. Each one of my girls is a
masterpiece – uniquely wired and created by God. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: 13.0pt; line-height: 115%;">It's tempting to get caught up into what other people think about our kids - how they should look or behave or think or act. I have been that mom. It's been a journey for me to learn how to celebrate each one of my girls and embrace their individuality. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 13.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I know that
my oldest, Meilani, feels wholly alive when she has a colored pencil or marker
or paint brush in hand. She’s also a planner. She loves to know what’s on the
agenda for the week. She loves to set up her room for friends to come over and
have every stuffed animal, every Lego creation in its place. I also know that
my sweet girl sucks her bottom lip when she’s nervous or thinking hard. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 13.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I know that
my middle daughter, Giada, is a snuggler. She thrives on hugs and tickle time
and cuzzling before bed. She loves to be active. She spends more time standing
on her head than she does sitting right side up. She loves gymnastics,
basketball, soccer. She also loves to make new friends. She’s the girl you want
with you on a long trip to a new place because she can win over any stranger.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 13.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I know that
my youngest, Zayla, oozes joy and passion. She’s a whiz at puzzles! She
scrunches up her nose when she smiles and erupts with contagious giggles. She
is independent, needing to buckle her own seat belt or serve her own dinner.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 13.0pt; line-height: 115%;">My girls
recently lost their dad to cancer. We anticipate seeing Daddy again in heaven one day and gaining a greater understanding for the heartache we now endure. As a family, we are learning how to grieve both individually and collectively. Recognizing that
each of my daughters is unique proves important now more than ever. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: 13.0pt; line-height: 115%;">My
oldest doesn’t like to cry in front of people while my middle little needs
someone to hold her close when those tears come. When my 2-year-old misses her
daddy, she is comforted by pictures on my phone and videos with his voice.
They each have their own unique grief journey. It's different from mine and other kids who have experienced something similar. These are all things I’m learning.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 13.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I believe
part of our job as mamas is to lean in close, to listen to what our kids are
telling us with words and body language, to get to know what pushes their
buttons and what makes their hearts beat. I believe a large part of our job is
to embrace their individuality and teach them to be themselves, bravely, in
light of that. </span></div>
MOPS at the Bridgehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16380079073580113306noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1852243909679975760.post-69789812380701018122014-08-13T19:33:00.003-07:002014-08-13T19:34:08.597-07:00JUMP AROUND: Join us for this night of family fun!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhXUFnYfUoETnJRRqrS7d_YWDmzpV5AwFKGjAlwiFPcVRFzM6kPXgO2ueEHpo1oIcJsRbygg6yOwqOyrky2vqFTmYexGYSazKBNczX-ZGodk7-IuAyN0KLH3CACf5QcIf1aEE5qScjgT8er/s1600/10551443_10152424315423159_1008260374074579369_o.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhXUFnYfUoETnJRRqrS7d_YWDmzpV5AwFKGjAlwiFPcVRFzM6kPXgO2ueEHpo1oIcJsRbygg6yOwqOyrky2vqFTmYexGYSazKBNczX-ZGodk7-IuAyN0KLH3CACf5QcIf1aEE5qScjgT8er/s1600/10551443_10152424315423159_1008260374074579369_o.jpg" height="400" width="400" /></a></div>
<br />MOPS at the Bridgehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16380079073580113306noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1852243909679975760.post-87789961353964453652014-08-12T23:26:00.002-07:002014-08-13T19:32:26.753-07:00FALL 2014 MOPS DATES<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgnehXSV-XtFHlkcECjTdyq1gaCTZM0WsViXt-f2LTRBeFt2DNaBOEBeBCQrayPfYQhlIfTvQdtzwgWsnP5i-UcHq27iQvqQLja-2amEZolk7ffWUGMHgi8qNUqWkY1C19_AE8pgZMwm_Dn/s1600/BeYouBravely_Logo_jpg.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgnehXSV-XtFHlkcECjTdyq1gaCTZM0WsViXt-f2LTRBeFt2DNaBOEBeBCQrayPfYQhlIfTvQdtzwgWsnP5i-UcHq27iQvqQLja-2amEZolk7ffWUGMHgi8qNUqWkY1C19_AE8pgZMwm_Dn/s1600/BeYouBravely_Logo_jpg.jpg" height="320" width="279" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
Hi Mamas!<br />
<br />
Mark your calendars today for our Fall 2014 meeting dates. We have some fun activities and meaningful topics planned. Be sure to invite a friend!<br />
<br />
Registration is $35 for the year, which includes all the supplies & goodies offered during our meetings as well as a welcome package from MOPS international, their monthly magazine and special gift to encourage you to BE YOU, BRAVELY this year as you mother. Sign up today right <a href="https://docs.google.com/forms/d/1aGGmJlrKETfsphTfIk4n2CwAqeLEdQVD7BuBUtxBOfw/viewform">here</a>. We also do have childcare classes available!<br />
<br />
<br />
<b>August 14 - </b>Jump Around event at Aerosports Trampoline - All Families Welcome! (Come register for the MOPS season, bring a friend and reconnect with other mamas!)<b> </b><br />
<br />
<b>September 11</b> - Be You, Bravely: Facing your Mama Fears (speaker: Dorina Gilmore)<br />
<br />
<b>September 25</b> - GAME NIGHT: Fun competitions forging new Friendships<br />
<br />
<b>October 9</b> - Courage to Embrace your Child's Individuality (speaker: Cori Schmidt)<br />
<br />
<b>October 23</b> - Be You, Creatively: CRAFT NIGHT (speaker: Emily Hope Baker) <br />
<br />
<b>November 13</b> - Courage to Balance Work & Mothering (speaker: Noelle Golling)<br />
<br />
<b>November 22</b> - MOPS Holiday Boutique (Host a table selling your own goods or come shop & snag some fabulous gifts for your family & friends!)<br />
<br />
<b>December 11</b> - Be You, Generously: CRAFT NIGHT (Creating Christmas Crafts & Gifts)MOPS at the Bridgehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16380079073580113306noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1852243909679975760.post-44258961855777271332014-05-20T21:28:00.002-07:002014-05-20T21:28:27.597-07:00How to Navigate Transitions with your Mama Heart<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"></span> This time of year my mailbox fills with invitations for
graduations, birthday parties, weddings. My Facebook newsfeed crowds with prom
photos, teacher appreciation events, and my personal favorite, Mother’s Day
gatherings!<br />
<br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
May marks the end of the school year for many.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>May speaks of a closing season. May hints at
summer days to come. May is a month of transition.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEguyqJNYxAKsDr3JMSUYTqvUg8h3aCA_cUKOnRdNohd-3FEVPJ6S_cqi8WGOZ4w60ouTg1PLbwh9g2SKt36tCI4vV0ez2bcQrvHBOr328WGPQTLdbUkX5YVwecG9eIZ-OxfW3VXwaTvKk2n/s1600/002.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEguyqJNYxAKsDr3JMSUYTqvUg8h3aCA_cUKOnRdNohd-3FEVPJ6S_cqi8WGOZ4w60ouTg1PLbwh9g2SKt36tCI4vV0ez2bcQrvHBOr328WGPQTLdbUkX5YVwecG9eIZ-OxfW3VXwaTvKk2n/s1600/002.jpg" height="400" width="282" /></a></div>
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In high school, May was the month our yearbooks arrived. I
was always on the yearbook staff, and we had the privilege of paging through
the books first. We got an early glimpse at the layouts, the photos, the funny
and memorable frozen in time from the past year.</div>
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I remember spending hours cutting out pictures and copying
down quotes for friends. We used it as an excuse to tell people how much we admired
them or to jot down favorite memories with them from the year. We would sign
with cute sayings like “K.I.T.” – Keep in Touch – or “2 Cute 2 B forgotten.”</div>
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This time of year is always bittersweet for me.
It’s a month full of celebrations, but also goodbyes. When I was younger it was
about saying goodbye to my school friends. I would often be returning home to
be with neighborhood friends or during college years I would be starting a new
job or internship.</div>
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As a mama, it’s different. I have to help navigate these
transitions for my kids. They, too, have to say goodbyes to friends and
teachers at school. Our whole family has to adjust to more time together and
being in each other’s space more. Siblings are forced to remember what it’s
like to play together. </div>
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Transitions can be tough.</div>
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Every summer our family heads to Haiti, where our family
feels called to serve and bless and be blessed. We must say goodbye to our
California friends and family every year. It’s hard. We shed some tears. Our
hearts long for those we love the most. Yet, we have the unique opportunity to
return to a place we have built relationships. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My girls look forward to their summer days –
carefree and unbound by schedules – to jump rope and dig in the dirt with their
Haitian friends from the orphanage next to our home.</div>
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My challenge to you is to embrace transition. Expect it.
Carve out time for yourself and your little ones to adjust. Don’t be surprised
if they have some days of irritability or acting out. Plan some down time to
reminisce about the past season, the highlights of the school year or that
dance class they took.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhLFkQ8ntF7ab4GjakJas3g1ZlvUZ5ff9m9GxQV1g8pFAGTy2wEIDcmnX9gUD4-NMNkZ620zlvEihRWOxQ2tMiFUXwmKnkY7W4XDtceys8q29wEyQqmNO7F2dD9bLKQEd4yl0pROZfNqM1U/s1600/001.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhLFkQ8ntF7ab4GjakJas3g1ZlvUZ5ff9m9GxQV1g8pFAGTy2wEIDcmnX9gUD4-NMNkZ620zlvEihRWOxQ2tMiFUXwmKnkY7W4XDtceys8q29wEyQqmNO7F2dD9bLKQEd4yl0pROZfNqM1U/s1600/001.jpg" height="400" width="282" /></a></div>
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My girls love photos; I take lots of them. This is another
way I help them navigate transitions. We go through photos together on the
computer or we make special photo books to help us remember the people and the
places that have become meaningful to us. When we travel we take a few of these
photo books with us. </div>
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<br /></div>
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I also give my girls blank books. They can use these like a
journal to document their new adventures. If they can’t express themselves in
words kids can draw pictures. I challenge them to draw or paint one picture a day.
I found this helps them when they are missing friends or having a hard time
embracing a new place or season.</div>
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In our home, transition is the new normal. How about yours?</div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"> </i></div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Dorina Lazo Gilmore is
the Coordinator of the Bridge MOPS group in Fresno, California. She and her family
serve in Haiti each summer with the non-profit Christian Friendship Ministries
& The Haitian Bead project.</i>
</div>
MOPS at the Bridgehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16380079073580113306noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1852243909679975760.post-2208252500450440512014-05-19T11:31:00.001-07:002014-05-19T11:32:53.611-07:00How to Navigate Transitions with your Mama Heart<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiSYIik7W2L4SWNVJUbK2kAtIrJbkWEvhBA1burnl-1xyBnASSiGQAxAaJp6wc3PQqQ6YmqJA7FlvPtvLtgBj2Gq0JjK7tkVVL_KYBfPGU8nb-PlI7TL-i0yIaYPTzeBD8tpuYBEvrsFSHF/s1600/MOPS+Newsletter+2+2013-2014+-+Page+039.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiSYIik7W2L4SWNVJUbK2kAtIrJbkWEvhBA1burnl-1xyBnASSiGQAxAaJp6wc3PQqQ6YmqJA7FlvPtvLtgBj2Gq0JjK7tkVVL_KYBfPGU8nb-PlI7TL-i0yIaYPTzeBD8tpuYBEvrsFSHF/s1600/MOPS+Newsletter+2+2013-2014+-+Page+039.jpg" height="640" width="492" /></a></div>
<br />MOPS at the Bridgehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16380079073580113306noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1852243909679975760.post-48362401631374261262014-05-06T20:30:00.002-07:002014-05-06T20:30:59.089-07:00Grand Finale: MOM PROM - May 8, 2014! Join us!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiMxqqZ6FVp_SPI4Sm62OMqAvkvsuqw_O3F8ZVdSNlVJL6Zn9HhAK64ixN72V_8IszhyFrz95dHD9VemY0soGDR9U4v2Wwp-80Pkg1JZiVQxvK9SLnmN_vPeiSUa0hqOsdK8nHylGoyMRHO/s1600/10330834_10154089816290597_1160176418_o.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiMxqqZ6FVp_SPI4Sm62OMqAvkvsuqw_O3F8ZVdSNlVJL6Zn9HhAK64ixN72V_8IszhyFrz95dHD9VemY0soGDR9U4v2Wwp-80Pkg1JZiVQxvK9SLnmN_vPeiSUa0hqOsdK8nHylGoyMRHO/s1600/10330834_10154089816290597_1160176418_o.jpg" height="400" width="400" /></a></div>
<br />MOPS at the Bridgehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16380079073580113306noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1852243909679975760.post-82106162425656009832014-04-25T18:09:00.001-07:002014-04-25T18:10:20.628-07:00April 24 Newsletter: Navigating Relationship Conflicts<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<br />MOPS at the Bridgehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16380079073580113306noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1852243909679975760.post-562053703995419622014-04-10T14:52:00.003-07:002014-04-11T06:29:08.104-07:00A Piece of Me<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<i>Guest blogger </i></div>
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Some days, I hold it together like a champ from diaper to
diaper, from meltdown to meltdown. I patiently load and unload the car,
buckling, tightening, loosening, unbuckling 4 kids still in car seats. I
speak gently to overstimulated and overtired littles. I wipe snotty
noses, snotty cheeks, snotty foreheads – somehow this stuff gets
everywhere. all. winter. long. I sweep up the majority of what was
served to the twins after breakfast, after lunch, after snacks, after
dinner… Ok, except for when I save it all for after dinner…</div>
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Some days, at the end of these days, I fall into bed
exhausted the way that we are meant to be exhausted after a day of good
work. And some days, at the end of these days, I fall into bed
exhausted.</div>
<br />
And discontent.<br />
<br />
I love that I get to stay home with these kids and be Mommy. And I
have so many meaningful outlets apart from my kids that my discontent
feels absurd. I’m at the gym 3 or 4 days a week, Bible study every
Tuesday, a mommy workout group, orchestra rehearsal, and another Bible
study on Wednesdays, book club twice a month, MOPS at two different
churches. I am not doing this alone. I cherish these opportunities to
take little breaks from the kids and focus in on my relationships with
other ladies and my relationship with God. I cherish these opportunities
because they make me a better mommy. They give me more of those days
where I am patient, gentle, and the picture of joyful endurance. But
then there are days like today.<br />
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<br /></div>
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By 7:15 this morning, I had tucked my sleepy oldest child
snugly into my place in bed, nursed both of the girls, changed 3
diapers, and was out the door on my way to a friend’s kid-free birthday
breakfast. After dropping by the farmer’s market (ALONE!) on the way
home for some local organic chard, romaine, and asparagus, I walked in
the front door and was needed. And needed. And needed. And needed. And
tired. My boys played with legos for a good 4 hours today; my husband
took the girls for a 45 minute walk so I could have a quiet time while
the boys played outside. And still, I was tired. </div>
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Some days I can put my
finger on it, but this wasn’t one of them. </div>
<br />
It has occurred to me several times over the last year that I love to
write. I also hate to write, but mostly I love it. I particularly love
to<i> have written</i>. A year ago now, I wrote a blog post. A YEAR
AGO. And still, I think back to that blog post with great pleasure. I
was on an emotional high for a month having accomplished – having
completed – something creative and tangible. Something I was proud of –
and yes, it was about the kids – but the writing was not the kids – it
was me in a way that I don’t get to be me every day. And I’m ok with
that, most of the time.<br />
<br />
Today, my weariness reminded me that it is often not my circumstances
that make me tired. It is not the demands of my kids that dictate how
much I will open my eyes to see the joy that God has for me in each
moment – and I do believe that He has planted joy for me everywhere.
Sometimes I am tired because there is an essential piece of me – a piece
God has knit into me – that I am ignoring.<br />
<br />
I taught English for several years before signing up to be Mommy. My
favorite class to teach was AP Language and Composition. I have always
loved reading, and remain a voracious reader as a mommy – staying up
late and carrying at least some reading material around in my car or
purse “just in case.” There is nothing to hate about reading. The
writing thing is more complicated. Maybe because I don’t have anything
personal at stake when I pick up something by someone else. Writing is
baring my soul and my skill to be scrutinized. Once something is
written, I have to reckon with it. And then the whole blog thing… to be
scrutinized by others. That is risky. And personal. And thrilling.<br />
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So, here it is. And because it is, I will be a better mommy
tomorrow than I was today. I will be a better wife – a grateful wife to
the amazing man who kicked me out of the house to read and write and go
to Trader Joe’s (ALONE!).</div>
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**This piece was reposted from <a href="http://thencomesgrace.wordpress.com/">Then Comes Grace</a>.</div>
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<i><span class="">Heather Fenton is a mama of two boys and twin girls, and
is madly in love with her husband of almost 10 years, Mike. She loves
music, literature, camping, and running and has a love/hate relationship
with writing. </span> </i></div>
MOPS at the Bridgehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16380079073580113306noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1852243909679975760.post-47432981348366902932014-03-27T06:19:00.000-07:002014-04-11T06:32:16.972-07:00The Value of Self-Care<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<br />MOPS at the Bridgehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16380079073580113306noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1852243909679975760.post-24151143642262199602014-02-27T10:18:00.000-08:002014-02-27T10:19:32.255-08:00Organizing our Beautiful Mess<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I am a
creative spirit. I hate throwing things away because I know somehow, some way
it could be recycled, recreated, reimagined in the future.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">When I was a
kid, my mom would send me to clean my room and I would emerge three days later
having uncovered a mountain of books I needed to read and boxes full of all the
great crafting stuff I forgot I had. Simply put: I was a pack rat. My college
roommates were not too thrilled about this character trait. They let me have my
own room while they shared.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Now that I
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and travels, I have started to reform my ways. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">A few years
ago we moved into a smaller home with a bigger yard. There was a great master bedroom,
another bedroom for my three girls, and a smaller room we needed to turn into a
joint office for our non-profit and the jewelry business. We also needed to
turn the garage into a functional warehouse space to house the jewelry and
supplies. Did I mention <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">one</i> bathroom?
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Every time I
sat down to work I would start to feel like the world was closing in on me. We
decided to enlist a little help from our friend Brenda McElroy who had started
a business called Organized by Choice. We needed some fresh perspective on how
to organize our space to make it functional for our family and work.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Enter
Brenda. She is a miracle worker. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">She helped
us talk through our goals. She gave loads of “gentle” suggestions on what to
get rid of and what to keep.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She proved
creative and encouraging. She helped my (pack rat) oldest daughter sift through
boxes of art projects and supplies. She drew sketches on how we could organize
our dual office space. She even went shopping for just the right organizers for
our closets and desks.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Perhaps one
of the most powerful things Brenda taught me is that everything needs to have a
“home.” That word echoes in my head every time things start to feel overwhelming
or cluttered. I pick up a bill, a birthday card, an old flip flop, a coupon or
a gift card. I ask myself, does this have a home? If it doesn’t, I need to
create a home for it or pitch it. This simple philosophy has empowered me to
get rid of a lot of unnecessary stuff. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">**For more
great tips from Brenda, check out her blog at <a href="http://organizedbychoice.com/">OrganizedByChoice.com</a>.</span></div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Dorina Lazo Gilmore is the
Coordinator of the Bridge MOPS. She aspires to be organized. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">She lives with her hubby, Ericlee, and three daughters, Meilani, 7, Giada, 5, and Zayla, 2. They split their time between Fresno, California and Pignon, Haiti.</span></span></i></div>
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MOPS at the Bridgehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16380079073580113306noreply@blogger.com0